Poppies

Once again, a beloved friend of mine celebrated reaching twenty-something-hood. Catey's 24th birthday was an extended celebration, beginning on the evening before her birthdate and ending (a week later) with cake. I asked Catey what she wanted for her birth treat a few days before the big day. "I'm glad you asked," she said. She requested that I recreate a poppy seed cake I had made in high school for another birthday party. Apparently the cake had left such an impression that Catey had spent the last 5 birthdays longing and pining for this cake. Well, finally we were in the same place at the right place. Her wish was my command. (I will also add that I received some flack for adapting Mollie Katzen's poppy seed cake recipe, which involved lemon, into a lemon-free poppy seed cake. To this I say haters to the left. The cake was off the chain. Again).

Poppy Seed Birthday Cake

Adapted from The New Moosewood Cookbook by Mollie Katzen

Cake Part:

- 3/4 cup poppy seeds

- 1 cup milk

- 2 sticks butter

- 1 cup sugar

- 3 eggs

- 2 cups flour

- 1 tbsp baking powder

- 1 tsp baking soda

- 1/2 tsp salt

- 1 tsp vanilla extract

Frosting Part:

- 8 oz cream cheese, room temp

- 8 oz butter, room temp

- 3/4 pound powdered sugar

- 1 tsp vanilla

Grease two 8" cake pans (the recipe called for a bundt or tube pan. I had neither, so I made  layer cake). Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. 

Pour the poppy seeds and milk in a saucepan. Heat on medium heat until just before the milk boils (aka scald the milk). Set aside. 

In your hand standy mixer, cream the butter and sugar together. Add the eggs one at a time, beating after each addition. In a separate bowl, mix the flour, b.p., b.s. and salt. Alternate adding the dry ingredients and the milk/poppy mixture to the creamed mixture, starting and ending with the milk. Beat until just combined after each addition. Mix in the vanilla. Divide the batter evenly into the two cake pans. 

 

Bake for 30-45 minutes (I checked the cake often because the baking time provided by Mollie's recipe was for a single large cake, rather than two. The bake time ended up being pretty close to that provided in the recipe). They will be done when they are golden brown and a toothpick comes out clean.

While the cake is baking, create the frosting. Note: Mollie's recipe does not call for cream cheese frosting. This decision was inspired by my childhood birthday celebrations. As my mum likes to reminisce, she always ordered me poppy seed cakes with cream cheese frosting, knowing full well that many children would not want all their the frosting and would donate the remnants to her plate. Genius. In conclusion, poppy seed cake (withOUT lemon) is perfectly complemented by cream cheese frosting (then again, what isn't)? Beat the butter and cream cheese together. Add the sugar, 1 cup or so at a time. Note: Many recipes call for more powdered sugar than I used, but I find that the sweetness overpowers the rest of the frosting and often the cake. Add sugar to taste. Beat in the vanilla.

Once the cakes are cooled, let the frosting begin. If you are lucky, maybe your boyfriend will put toothpicks in the cake (apparently this is a trick for frosting. It does leave you with the risk of getting splinters in your tongue, but the cake looked good). We served the cake at Catey's bar. It was yummy. Make this. PS. We decorated the cake the pieces of fresh fig because we are creative and resourceful. Do the same with whatever you want.

Gums

I would not categorize myself as much more than a born this way Jew - I spent the high holy days this year working and noshing. From time to time, though, my heritage comes in handy. Despite our somewhat drippy prior baking project, Cady once again proposed that we collaborate on a celiac-friendly food item. This time, she was hankering after bagels. Since the obliteration of gluten from her diet, Cady has searched high and low for a bagel that will not land her in sicksville. Although she has tasted numerous gluten-free "bagels," none have quite lived up to their name. As all good Jews know, it is not a real bagel unless it is boiled, then baked. Unfortunately, the whole world has not cottoned on to this fact. Some people undoubtedly believe that if a bagel does not contain all-purpose flour should be exempt from the crucial boiling process. This is a misconception that, with little time and effort, we quickly put to rest. We secured time in the kitchen at Chez Parental Units and set to work. This time we pretty much followed a recipe.

Note: some comments at the bottom of the recipe indicated that not just any gluten-free flour will work for this recipe. The flour must contained xanthan gum or some xanthan gum must be added. After searching at a small health food store and being pointed to the chewing gum aisle, I ended upon the phone with Whole Foods. I was reassured that they stock xanthan gum, but upon my arrival I was disappointed to find that they had sold out. Luckily, the wonderful Jessica's section at WF is the baking aisle. She pointed me to a highly recommended gluten-free flour that contained guar gum. MacBass (my iPhone) reassured me that guar gum can be a substitute for xanthan gum. I bought the flour and abandoned the xanthan.

Gluten-Free Bagels
adapted from Delight Gluten Free Magazine

- 2 cups warm water
- 2 packets active quick-rise yeast
- 3 cups gluten-free flour containing guar gum or xanthan gum
- 2 1/2 cups regular gluten free flour
- 3 tbsp sugar
- 2 tsp salt
- 2 quarts boiling water
- 2 tsp canola oil (or, as Cady pointed out, "some" oil is fine)

First, locate the dough hook attachment for your kitchenaid. It might be hiding in your old bedroom. For those who are unsure, the dough hook is pictured on the right.
 
Mix the warm water with the yeast in a small bowl. Let yeast dissolve about 5 minutes. In your stand mixer, combine the flour, sugar and salt using the dough hook. A well should form in the middle of the dry mixture (it is OK to aid the well-creation process slightly with your hands. As much as I love kitchie, baking without one's hands is not baking). Pour the yeast mixture into the well and mix on medium speed until a dough forms. Cover the dough with plastic wrap and allow the dough to rest for 10 minutes, as it will be tired.
 
Once the dough has rested, place it on a flat surface and divide into 12 pieces. Roll the pieces into the dough into about 1 inch thick logs. Form the logs into round bagel-like shapes, securely attaching both ends.

 
Place the dough bagels on a baking sheet, cover with a dish towel and let them rise for 30-40 minutes. The dough should rise during this time (we were unsure how much they really rose, but it all worked out in the end). While the dough is rising, preheat the oven to 400 degrees F and boil two quarts of water in a large pot on the stove. Once the water is boiling, pour in the canola oil. After the bagels have risen, gently place them about 4 at a time into the pot. Poach them for about 30-45 seconds, then remove them onto a greased baking sheet (make sure whatever is used to grease the sheet is gluten-free!). A slotted spoon did the transfer quite successfully. Feel free to sprinkle on some sesame or poppy seeds. Place the dough in the oven. The recipe said they should bake for 15-18 minutes, but ours needed a tad longer to reach golden brown perfection (about 25 minutes. They remained on the pale side but nicely browned on the bottom). Eat bagels plain, buttered, cream cheesed or however your heart desires. Don't be alarmed by the likeness of these bagels to gluten-full bagels.

Explosive

My dear celiac friend Cady recently made a special request. Cady, as you may recall, was the gracious donator of my delightful dresser. Her reward for this generosity was these gluten free peanut butter cookies. Although she did enjoy the cookies, this time she was hankering after a more intricate treat she had recently experienced: gluten-free strawberry meringue pie. She assured me that this was a real thing and, indebted to her as I am, I signed on to assist with this project. She invited me to her lovely (and admittedly quite compact) home one night, asking only that I bring lemon curd, as she had no idea that such a thing existed. Well, it turns out the entire mission district has no idea that lemon curd exists. I searched high and low before asking god (read: my iPhone) for advice. Alton Brown's recipe for lemon curd appeared simple. I purchased the necessary lemons and butter and trudged on to Chez Cady and Joseph. After a brief moment of gawking at the hipster mob in front of Cady's apartment waiting to eat at Mission Chinese Food restaurant, I rushed upstairs and we set to work. "So," Cady said with utmost confidence, "I just picked the first recipe that came up on google. Also I hate recipes." I assured her that I would have done the same, and that I too found recipes to often restrict my creative tendencies. I glanced through the one she had found and determined that we would have to do some tweaking. After another glance, I decided that we were going to make our own recipe. For an alternate and perhaps less drawn out and tiresome summation of events, see Cady's blog:

Cady and Marissa Have a Little Too Much Fun Inventing This Gluten Free Strawberry Meringue Pie Recipe

Adapted from some places

Crust Part

- about 1 cup crushed gluten free graham crackers (not too shabby, I might add), crushed with a rolling pin or some other crushing device

- 4 tbsp melted butter

- scant 1/3 cup sugar

Filling Part

- two containers strawberries, sliced (about 4 cups)

- 5 egg yolks

- 1 cup sugar

- 4 lemons

- 1 stick butter

Meringue Part

- 5 egg whites

- a pinch of cream of tartar

- 1-2 tsp vanilla

- some sugar?

First, make the crust. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Mix together the crushed graham cracker crumbs, butter and sugar, then spread into a pie dish. This made a somewhat low crust, so if you want more crust, add more of each ingredient (proportionally, derr). Bake for about 10 minutes then remove and cool. 

Next, make the lemon curd/filling. Zest and juice the lemons. The recipe said to use only 1/3 cup of lemon juice, so I only used juice from about 3 of them. Prepare a double boiler set up: this can involve a heat resistant bowl and a saucepan. Fill the saucepan with about 1 inch of water. Bring to a boil, then reduce to simmer. In the bowl, mix the egg yolks and sugar (I might have mixed the juice and sugar first, which might have affected the thickening of the curd, and by affected I might mean prevented. Do as I say, not as I do). Pour in the lemon juice and zest and place the bowl on top of the saucepan. Whisk until mixture thickens (Note: if it does not thicken, tell me because it means it was the recipe's fault and not mine). Remove from heat. Mix together the strawberries and "lemon curd" substance (if the "lemon curd" is extremely runny, maybe just add a little and not the entire thing). 

Next, make the meringue. Use electric beaters to whip the egg whites to soft peaks. Once they reach soft peaks, add the cream of tartar, vanilla and sugar. Note: not much sugar is required. We just threw some in and it turned out tasty. 

Lastly, assemble and bake. Decrease the oven heat to 325 degrees. Pour the strawberry mixture into the pie crust. If it looks very wet (which it did), throw in some gluten free flour and mix. This may or may not make a difference. Scoop the meringue mixture on top of the strawberries. Place a baking sheet under the pie dish and bake for 20-30 minutes.

 

Final note: our pie ended up erupting all over poor Cady and Joseph's oven. When we removed the pie to cool on top of the stove, it continued erupting slowly and steadily for a good 15 minutes before juice started spilling out each and every opening in the oven. This was because we put too much liquid and stuff into the pie. Woops. It was still delicious and provided the inspiration for C and J to make strawberry meringue pie oatmeal the next day. Tasty!

Blowtorch

Certain people prefer salty flavors to sweet. Generally speaking I am perplexed by such a concept; salty is wonderful and necessary, but sweets are like breaths of fresh air. That said, it was recently the birthdate of one such saltophile: the delightful Emma. While Emma does not shun cookies when they are placed in front of her, the thought of sugar mounds does not increase her heart rate and widen her eyes with glee. That is, with the exception of creme brulée. She waxes poetic at the thought of this treat, often scheming to cross the city in search of the torched dessert. Alas, I myself don't own the essential ingredient for Creme brulée: a blowtorch. I was not sure how impressed Emma would be by a non bruleed Creme dish. I researched a tad on foodnetwork and found the answer in a cupcake wars winner recipe for Creme brûlée cupcakes. It was going to be quite an undertaking; not only was there a cake, a filling and a frosting component, but most of the ingredients were listed in ounces. Furthermore, I was unable to obtain the dulce de leche component crucial to the caramel frosting. Nonetheless, Emma's birthday joy (birthjoy) was worth all the conversions and assemblages. Here's how it went:

Creme Bruleé Cupcakes

adapted from Cupcake Wars contestant Megan Faulkner Brown (I did the conversions for you)

Cake part

- 2 1/4 cups flour

- 1 cup brown sugar

- 1 1/2 tsp baking soda

- 1 tsp salt

- 1 cup sour cream

- 2 1/2 eggs (5 oz of eggs? Really? I used 3)

- scant 1/2 cup vegetable oil

- scant half cup ready made vanilla pudding

- 1/4 cup buttermilk

- 1 1/2 tsp vanilla

Filling part

- 1/4 cup white sugar

- 1 tsp vanilla bean (the recipe called for vanilla bean paste. I couldn't find this (and assumed it would be ridiculously expensive). Luckily, I had a whole vanilla bean lying around and scraped out the inside)

- 4 eggs yolks

- 1 1/2 cups heavy cream

Frosting part

- 2 sticks butter, room temp

- 4 oz cream cheese, room temp

- 1 pound powdered sugar

- 1/4 cup + 2 tbsp caramel (recipe below)

- 1/4 cup + 2 tbsp evaporated milk

- 1 1/2 tsp vanilla

First, make the cupcakes. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line a cupcake pan with cupcake holders. Mix flour, brown sugar, baking soda, and salt in a mixing bowl. Add the sour cream, eggs, vegetable oil, pudding, buttermilk and vanilla to the bowl and mix on low speed until combined. Do a quick scrape and mix with a spatula. Fill the cupcake holders about 2/3 full (or a little more). Bake for about 20 minutes, or until slightly browned. Cool the cupcakes on a rack.

Next make the creme bruleé filling. Reduce oven heat to 325 degrees. Whisk together the sugar, vanilla bean and egg yolks together in a bowl. 

Add the cream slowly and continue whisking until combined. Pour the mixture into a 9x9 baking dish. Place the dish on a baking sheet in the oven. Pour 2 cups of water onto the baking sheet (water bath). Bake until the pudding has set. Cool the creme bruleé completely.

Lastly, make the frosting. In order to this, I had to improvise. I looked up a recipe for dulce de leche, but it took a very long time and required additional ingredients. My laziness problem obliged me to investigate other forms of caramel. I landed on a basic caramel recipe:

Caramel Sauce

from simplyrecipes.com

- 1 cup sugar

- 6 tbsp butter

- 1/2 cup heavy cream

Heat the sugar in a heavy bottomed pan. Whisk the sugar as it starts to melt. When the sugar comes to a boil, stop stirring. Once all the sugar is melted and is a "dark amber" color, add the butter immediately and whisk together. Remove the pan from the heat, count to three and slowly add the cream. The sauce will bubble somewhat violently, so watch your hands. Allow the caramel to cool for a time, then proceed with the frosting.

Beat together the butter and cream cheese in a stand mixer until combined. Slowly add half the powdered sugar. Mix on low for 30 seconds, then on medium until fully combined. Add the rest of the powdered sugar, the caramel, evaporated milk and the vanilla. Beat again until fully mixed and creamy.

To turn these components into creme bruleé cupcakes, obtain piping tips and a plastic bag (if you have pastry bags, all the better). Fill the bag with the creme brulee. Use a knife to carefully cut small holes in the cupcakes and pipe the filling into these holes. Frost the cupcakes (you can either use another piping bag, or just use a knife, which is what I did, obviously). Sprinkle each frosted top with about 1 tsp granulated sugar. Use the handy torch lighter you purchased earlier that day to bruleé the tops of cupcakes. Pat yourself on the back and share with the birthday girl.

Muffling

As some of you may know, I have recently diminished the amount of time spent at my job of two years. The reason? To pursue baking. At a farewell dinner for me and another departing coworker, my boss disclosed that she has a bran muffin for lunch every day. Muffins! A language I speak. With this revelation came newfound motivation for yours truly to win employee of the year status. As much as I adore fattening treats like dough filled cupcakes, I have been known to dabble in the healthier side of baked-things. Bran is one item with which I have not previously experimented. No time like the present! I investigated a few different recipes; the first was Ina Garten's banana bran muffins. These sounded slightly more enticing than a plain, bland, raisin-filled muffin. However, as with many of Ina's recipes, the long list of ingredients was intimidating. I perused an allrecipes.com recipe which appeared far more manageable. I ultimately used the allrecipes guidance, with some inspiration from Ina.

Banana-Pecan Bran Muffins

Adapted from http://allrecipes.com/recipe/classic-bran-muffins/

- 1 1/2 cups wheat bran

- 1 cup buttermilk

- 1/3 cup vegetable oil

- 1 egg

- 2/3 cup brown sugar

- 1/2 tsp vanilla extract

- 1 cup flour

- 1 tsp baking soda

- 1 tsp baking powder

- 1/2 tsp salt

- 1 banana, cut into chunks

- 1/2 cup or so pecans, roughly chopped (I happened to have some pecans lying around. Despite my usual no-nuts policy in otherwise nut-free baked goods, in this case it seemed appropriate)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease a muffin tin - in the absence of spray grease, I find vegetable oil to be an effective anti-stick agent for muffins.

Whisk the wheat bran and buttermilk in a bowl. Let sit for 10 minutes.

 

Mix the oil, egg, brown sugar and vanilla in a separate bowl (liquid cup measure should do the trick). Add this to the buttermilk mixture and combine. Add the flour, b.s., b.p, and salt and mix until just combined. Lastly, add the nuts and banana.

 

 Fill each muffin holder in the pan about 2/3 full. Bake for 15-20 minutes. Feed to your roommates and co-workers.

The cookies are IN the cupcakes?!?!

Sometimes, one's baking plans are foiled. The other day, I had planned to make whoopie pies - a task which had previously intimidated me. With the help of my beloved stand mixer, the cookie-pies were no longer daunting. Unfortunately, a turn of events involving the Evil Cold Virus transpired, barring me from the parental home and lodgings of Kitchie. I considered proceeding with the whoopie pies sans electronics, but assessed that they would be less than superior. I remembered that I had a box of yellow cake mix, and figured I might as well put it to good use. A google search of "yellow box cake mix" yielded a number of grotesque-sounding trashy-centric dishes. I decided to go with the trashiest:

Chocolate Cookie Dough + Cupcakes

from allrecipes.com (the app)

Cookie dough balls

- 1 1/2 cups flour
- 1/4 tsp baking soda
- 1/4 tsp salt
- 1/2 cup softened butter
- 1/4 cup white sugar
- 1/2 cup brown sugar
- 1 egg
- 2 tsp vanilla extract (yes, this is what the recipe called for - magic!)
- chocolate chips - 1 cup ish

Cake surroundings
- 1 box yellow cake mix
- 1 1/3 cup water
- 1/3 cup canola oil
- 3 eggs

Frosting
Purchase your choice of canned, pre-made frosting (or, in my case, the only frosting within a mile radius of your home).

First, make the cookie balls. Cream butter and sugar. Add the egg and vanilla. Beat until well combined. Add the flour, b.s. and salt. Mix in the choc chips. Shape the dough into balls and place on a cookie sheet. Freeze for about 1-2 hours - this helps the dough balls maintain their dough ball shape. Make 24 balls total.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Fill a cupcake tin with cupcake liners.

Mix all the cake ingredients until just combined. Scoop the batter into the cupcake liners until about 2/3 full. Place a frozen cookie dough ball on top of each cupcake. Note: the recipe said you would have 24 cupcakes - I only ended up with 21, but that just meant bigger cakes and extra cookie dough.
 
Bake the cupcakes for about 20 minutes - the dough will still be raw.  Let the cupcakes cool. Note: I first tried them unfrosted and, unsurprisingly, found them tasty but sub-par. When I finally tracked down some Betty Crocker dark chocolate frosting, the cupcakes were elevated to a level of uber-sweet toxicity. The good kind.

Instagram

A few weeks ago, finally, a friend of mine had a birthday. While baking is always a delight for me, there is nothing so overwhelmingly rewarding as baking for someone's birthday. Birthbaking. When Luz decided to join the ranks of the 24 year olds, it was clear that she needed to be compensated with a treat. After a Saturday spent baking ourselves in the sun at Precita Park, Sophie and I decided to lay low at the temporarily vacated parental house (what can I say, they are housing my precious kitchenaid). After a few episodes of Chopped, we were ready for business - with business being cupcakes. We perused recipes using coconut, chocolate and such, finally deciding that we surely couldn't go wrong with red velvet cupcakes. [insert quote about the best laid plans]. We came up with a list of ingredients we needed and headed to the (one and only no really) local grocery store, Whole Satan. We gathered the cream cheese, the powdered sugar and the cocoa powder, but struggled to locate the crucial red food coloring (two tablespoons required for true redness). We finally asked an employee who kindly led us back to the baking aisle we had already scoured. Tucked in a tiny corner was a mini pack of food colorings in a variety of colors. We thanked the employee kindly and took a closer look. Our jaws dropped. These four bite-sized bottles, containing barely one tablespoon each of coloring, cost $18.99. "We could try beet juice. Or pomegranate?" Suggested Sophie. I checked the iPhone for other food dye substitutions with little success. Beet juice takes too long; pomegranate is too flavorful; what the hell is cochineal? "Let's see if the corner store has it." We purchased our other items (the grand total of which was less than that of the food coloring alone) and proceeded to the corner store. They didn't have it.

We made them anyway:

Not-Red Velvet Cupcakes
adapted from http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/paula-deen/red-velvet-cupcakes-with-cream-cheese-frosting-recipe/index.html

Cupcake Part
- 2 1/2 cups flour
- 1 1/2 cups sugar
- 1 tsp baking soda
- 1 tsp salt
- 3 tsp cocoa powder (original recipe called for 1, but we needed a color boost. Also, it is chocolate)
- 1 1/2 cups vegetable oil (depite popular opinion, as Sophie can attest, oil is often superior to butter in cakes for the moistness it lends)
- 1 cup buttermilk (or milk mixed with a tablespoon white vinegar or lemon juice)
- 2 large eggs
- 1 tsp white vinegar
- 1 tsp vanilla

Frosting Part
- 1 lb cream cheese (room temp)
- 2 sticks butter (I think we used salted and it turned out just fine - room temp)
- 1 tsp vanilla, or to taste
- 3 cups powdered sugar, or to taste (original called for 4 cups, but cream cheese frosting recipes almost without fail are too sweet. It is best to add some, then see if you want it a little sweeter or not)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease some muffin tins (line with cupcake papers if you have them).

Have your lovely helper mix the drug ingredients (up through cocoa powder) in a small bowl.

In the bowl of your kitchenaid, mix the oil, buttermilk, eggs. Add the vinegar and vanilla and beat it all together. Slowly pour in the dry mixture with mixer on low (to avoid flour-face) and mix until just combined. Don't overmix! Scoop the batter into the prepared muffin tin. We filled the cups more or less to the top and no one was complaining. Bake for about 20-25 minutes. Remove and cool on a rack. This batch made about 18 cupcakes, but could be stretched if the cupcakes are not monstrously large.

For the frosting: Clean the kitchenaid. Whip the butter and cream cheese together thoroughly. Very thoroughly. Add the vanilla and some powdered sugar. Taste the concoction. Determine whether it needs more sugar or vanilla. Proceed accordingly.

Once the cupcakes are cooled, use a butter knife to spread ample amounts of frosting on top of each (rest assured, you will have leftover frosting). If you have sprinkles, put some on top. Feed them to the birthday girl.