Curdles

Upon first tasting the Buttermilk Pie/Melktert I made on Monday, I came very close to deleting all the smack I had talked about Baked Explorations in the Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cake post (previous). I landed on this particular pie not because it sounded so unfathomably delicious, but because, unlike most pies I encounter, it contained no fruit, lemon rind, meringue, or nuts. All the ingredients were handy, and it seemed straightforward enough. I am not custard's most avid supporter, but I was seized with delight at the pie's sweet-but-not-too-sweet-and-slightly-mapley custard innards. I did have some beef with the crust - more specifically 75% of it was raw, but I'll get to that in a minute.

Especially following a certain incident in the summer of 2009, I do not consider myself a pie-maker. On the contrary, I have long considered myself quite pie inept. With this pie, I was determined to be a perfectionist (that I am not one is a shortcoming that has always inhibited the deliciousness of the pies I have attempted). I even followed the instructions when they left out a blind baking step with the crust. For those who are unfamiliar with blind baking, this involves laying the crust dough in the pie dish you intend to use, covering said dough in foil, filling the foil with pie weights/dried beans, and baking it like this for about 15-20 minutes before adding the filling and baking it all together (dried beans and foil excluded). I was a little wary about leaving out the blind bake, but these guys seemed to know what they were doing.

I reckon I should confess that I did some improvising with the dough. It was only once I had embarked upon the Baked recipe that I realized my food processor was far too tiny to fit the dough. I ended up consulting another recipe, which did not need a food processor, and then just making it up.

Pie dough

* 1 cup butter, cold
* 3 cups flour
* 1 tbsp sugar
* 1 tsp salt

* about 6 tbsp ice water

* about 5 tbsp vodka

Mix the flour, sugar and salt in the bowl. Cut the butter into cubes (if it gets warm or melty during this step, put it back in the fridge for a min). Add butter to dry ingredients and mix to coat butter cubes. (It was here that I had a mini-breakdown over the bite-sized food processor). Use a pastry cutter (or two knives? I have never figured out how that works.) to cut the butter into the mixture.

Next, (it was here that I remembered someone once telling me about putting vodka in pie crusts. It makes them flaky and gives an excuse to break into your liquor cabinet) begin adding the ice water. In retrospect, it probably would be wise to alternate a tablespoon of vodka with a tablespoon of water. I added a few of water, then a few of vodka, ultimately adding about 5-6 of each. After the first few tablespoons of liquid, begin gathering the dough together. Stop adding when it is a dough.

Divide into two equal pieces. Freeze, or refrigerate if you will be using it soon.

Filling

* 1 cup buttermilk
* 2 tbsp + 1 tsp flour

* 1 stick butter, melted and cooled
* 4 eggs
* 3/4 cup white sugar
* 1/4 cup brown sugar
* 1/4 cup maple syrup

Pie

Preheat oven to 325˚ F.

Remove dough from refrigerator and roll out on a floured surface. Move into a 9-inch pie dish and freeze for about 30 minutes (until hard).

Whisk the eggs. Add two tbsp of the flour and whisk together. Next add the sugars and whisk. Finally, throw in the butter, buttermilk and maple syrup. Whisk it all together.

Remove the crust from the freezer and sprinkle with 1/2 tsp flour. Pour in the filling, then sprinkle remaining 1/2 tsp flour on top. Bake for 1 hour to 1 hour 10 minutes until custard has set. Note: don't be alarmed if the pie begins to puff up and looks as though an alien creature in growing inside and about to burst forth. This is just how it goes and all alien eggs forms disappear as the pie cools. Let the pie cool for as long as you can possibly wait to allow for proper setting of the custard.

I will end by noting that, after tasting the pie, my father proceeded to polish 1/4 of it, while I inhaled 1/5. I managed to force a good chunk on Emma's family in an effort to ease their sorrow at their daughter's departure for Taiwan, but it looks like the rest might be about to meet its maker....